Archive for the ‘General Yoga Philosophizing’ Category
I’ve decided I’ve internalized too much criticism about being a hyperactive, atomic squirrel. Like it’s a bad thing. Love the squirrel! Embrace the squirrel! Give it acorns & a nice tree to live in!
K, this is what brought on the current bout of epiphanic crazy. 
Beloved Husband connected me with a friend of his who also has uber-bouncy, perky tendencies & we all went out to see the sparkly vampire movie. Much high pitched squealing, giggling, hugging, mocking, laughing-our-asses-off ensued. (BH fortified himself with a shot of Jaeger for all this. It was priceless. 
Then BH pointed something out on the way home, as I raved about how much fun I had. He observed that I felt so good cuz someone (two someones) had validated the squirrel. The squirrel got to come out & play & talk too fast & act like a twelve year old & it was FABULOUS. The squirrel was not told by look or word to settle down, stop metaphorically laughing in church, be quiet, behave, or otherwise rein in.
It’s been a little like walking on eggshells (or nutshells) recently around myself… yes, I need to breath & speak in pitches & speeds that normal human ears can comprehend. And to mellow out when I start buzzing around & stressing out. It’s good to go deep, to work seriously & with commitment on learning the craft of teaching , & to heal issues & pain. And “relax” is not a four letter word. (It’s five. Yes, I can count.
And yes, I do use humor as a defensive reflex. And to keep my distance from people, emotions, events.
But not most of the time.
I also use humor because it’s effing FUNNY! And it feels good to laugh; it can be as good a stress release as chanting Om for an hour, and, as Lynne pointed out in class today, it is also good for the abs. And I bounce around because it feels so fantastic to be light.
There was an amazing two hour class at Back Bay this morning — Lynne took us through some cranio-sacral stuff purely through breath, followed by SLOOOOWWWW abs, variations on handstand & forearm balance using a strap, headstands, then an awesome thigh-opening flow — but, bottomline, my yoga today was Laughter.
Long live all that is nutty.
Quiet day on the yoga front. Bit knackered (love British-isms & am in fact legitimately entitled to Brit citizenship but that’s a story for another time) so went with just an hour of VEERRRRYYYY mellow home practice. Lots of lolling around on the mat, eyes closed, in supine supported stretchiness.
There’s a slightly complicated emotional storyline tied up with this restorative practice.
Being tired naturally kinda correlates with being relatively quiet & lower energy. No shocker, pretty normal. However, sometimes, I think friends & family find me easier to deal with when I’m tired. Sometimes I think I’m a better yoga teacher when I’m a bit tired because it slows me down. Other times, particularly social situations, I wonder if I’m just not very likable when tired/less gregarious. I don’t know which state or place along the spectrum I prefer… too far a swing either direction & even I find myself difficult to deal with.
The ups & downs of simply being human can feel like you’re being hijacked by fatigue or ebulliance or anger or joy or whatever emotional/mental state shows up. Sometimes this combines with an underlying insecurity that X person prefers one or the other manifestation of Self.
It’s a daily ongoing turning of the jewel, light shining through facets of personality — but we have a nap, or snack, or laugh, or time just passes & the mood changes. Om Mani Padme Hum. Whatever facet was dominant shifts but – The jewel is still in the lotus. I yam what I yam whether up, down, sideways, perky or tired.
And now, back to watching meaningless TV with Beloved Husband. The act of togetherness is meaningful even if the shows are not.
Down in New Haven for the Forrest mentoring workshop with Heidi Sormaz at Fresh Yoga, which starts tomorrow morning. Went down to the hotel restaurant for dinner & observed an interesting manifestation of kindness, patience, shared humanity…
There was (actually, probably still is!) an older man in his 60s or70s who seated himself at the spot closest to the wait station. Every time a staff member went by, he talked to them. Each and every one, just some little thing. If no one passed for a minute or two, he’d get up & go into the wait station to talk to someone. The wait staff, all young gals in their teens & early twenties, knew his name & even as they bustled about, would respond kindly to his little remarks & snippets of conversation. Not a sharp response even when loaded with trays & moving fast.
I wonder if he comes in many nights. He was obviously lonely for attention & they give him little acknowlegements of his worth & humanity with little strokes, every time they passed.
Sometime that’s all someone needs — affirmation of shared existence, recognition of being part of a greater whole Yoga in action, IMHO.
My little mat practice quite pales in comparison, but did do 90 minutes free form this morning & an hour of gentle stretching upon getting to the hotel.
Looking forward to tomorrow!
Just been thinking about how our understanding of everything changes & shifts. In yoga, I think alot of the time we (me start out looking for solid ground, rules, absolutes, the “right” way to do poses, pranayama, practice. And structure, whether from principles of alignment or principles for living, or an entire system of practice, is a really useful thing.
But in any complex subject, smart, talented people can hold completely opposing views in good faith.
And the right thing for one person on one day may be the wrong thing for another person, or even the same person on another day.
Finding ways to practice a pose that works for the body to heal & open it up is a constant exploration. Working with breath is always different.
Delving the intuitive art of practice is complicated & fascinating & doesn’t give easy answers or solid ground. It’s fluid.
So we learn to swim.
*This post brought to you by a very adaptive home practice of a Forrest MP3 from a workshop I did six-plus months ago in DC. And yes, I’m still coughing!!*
So, like, FYI, Rumi was a 13th century Persian poet/mystic. Very popular within the yoga world. Go look him up on Wikipedia if you’re curious at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumi – good life story & collected works.
A particular Rumi quote has been showin’ up in the ether recently, put forth as inspirational by people I care about & respect. Here’s the passage:
“Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on, I’ll be mad.”
Nice sentiment. Great rhetoric. Have both given & received the essence of that speech. Very handy for inspiring oneself or others to conquer a challenge or get out of rut.
But, also, forgive me lovely yogis, kinda horseshit.
I have in fact lived where I feared to live. Have destroyed my reputation & the reputation of others. Been notorious. Told the world/The Man/ruling hierarchies to go eff themselves. Thrown off prudence & planning & all inhibitions & embraced my inner rebel & flake. Been mad in the sense of both totally pissed off & kinda off my nut.
And, really, all of the above are highly overrated.
The point of coloring outside the lines is to paint a new world for yourself. To rebel enough so that you create a life that you don’t need to rebel against. To motivate yourself to meaningful change. Cuz if you’re given a choice between being happy & being “mad,” choose happy. Really.
Rephrase: Live where you love to be. Cultivate a reputation you’re proud of. Be who you dream of being. Plan what needs planning & then let it go. From now on, live authentically & joyfully.
Okay, rant done. Marathon yoga day at Back Bay was awesome — 2 hrs teacher practice, then assisted class, then did 2 hr fun pop workshop. Good day. Can see improvement in that it hurt alot less this month than last month.
One of the good quotes from the Barbara Benagh workshop yesterday.
First, the health update: I am incredibly stoked to NOT feel sick this morning. Like, dancing around the house in a pink fluffy robe excited simply to be back to normal. (Literally. The pink fluffy robe is for real, & should be a surprise to no one. It always amazes me after I’ve been sick or injured or whatever how great it is just to be normal. Must remind self of that on days when I’m p’od about being normal.
Okay, back to the workshop. Barbara Benagh is a highly intelligent & well-educated yogi in the more classical mode, writes a lot for Yoga Journal & is a big local teacher. She does classes around town & workshops at Back Bay & a few other places. Yesterday’s focus was on the mechanics of the breath, types of breathing & incorporating breath into asana practice.
It was a three hour workshop, but mostly lecture. In the initial 15 minutes we did a few supine (lying down) poses with blankets to open up the breath. She used the blanket to create a mini-rolled up mat for a very gentle version of the Forrest lying over the roll to loosen up belly muscles at the start, then did some side lying & reclined work. A single sloooooooooooooow sun salute & wide legged forward bend at the end illustrated some of her points. Was very glad I did a mellowed-out Hip Hop Yoga class with Vanessa (subbing for Lynne) prior to the workshop to get the body moving again.
Barbara provided a relatively good discussion on how breathing actually works but it wasn’t super organized so if I hadn’t walked in with an understanding of it already, can’t say it would have provided a sufficient base. She totally KNOWS the biological mechanics of both cellular respiration & ventilation (that’s the inhale/exhale part), just since it was a lecture format, it could have used a bit more academic-style presentation & preparation. There was a whiteboard & once she began using that it organized her thoughts enormously, but it would have been helped by a very prepared outline & handouts. But I’m Type-A that way.
Barbara did recommend the book “The Science of Breath” published by the Himalayan Institute. I’d also say read the chapter on breathing from Leslie Kaminoff’s Yoga Anatomy. Or one day I’ll do a post on it – since I’m critiquing a master teacher, better put my money where my mouth is.
Most interesting part for me was her typologies of breathing. She organized it into
1) Belly breathing: relaxed, passive breath where diaphragm contracts & flattens at level of xyphoid process causing a slight expansion of belly on inhale & contraction of belly on exhale. Reverse breathing (not recommended; see initial quote) is, well, the reverse of that.
2) Thoracic breathing: more complete breath used during active phases of practice, adds three dimensional expansion of chest (up/down; front/back; side to side) incorporating intercostals
3) Clavicular breathing: stress response fight-or-flight breath that goes strongly into the neck & throat; can recognize it because shoulders come up. Good for running away from bears, not needed in yoga class
On ujjayi breath, she was for it as a choice during practice, used quietly & consciously. Did like the line “it’s great to lie down & great to run around, but not if either is the only game in town.”
She also associated particular types & qualities to the exhale/inhale process & those dominated by one or the other.
Exhale: Kapha, parasympathetic nervous system, vagus nerve specifically, lower energy state, can be depressive or relaxed, spinal flexion
Inhale: Vata (can be Pitta, but that’s more irritable , sympathetic nervous system, phrenic nerve specifically, can be overly excitable or energizing, spinal extension
Overall, good three hours. Also the feeling of being in “intellectual yogi/student mode” was interesting — it’s been awhile since I was more focused on understanding yoga with my head than with my body. Frankly, the former is easier for me & I need to get back to the latter today! Peter is subbing the 9:30 Core Vinyasa class, then doing Restorative with Heather. Yay for healthy!!
So I’m heading in for a chill class then the Barbara Benagh workshop. Feeling much better but will take it easy.
Wanted to make sure I clarified why I went in to teach while a little sniffly & bring up the issue of folks taking/teaching class with minor illness like head colds.
First off, best possible thing is to stay away from class when contagious. Thing is — frequently we don’t know we’re getting sick until symptoms manifest & by then we’ve already been contagious & exposing others! Hopefully if ya stay tuned in, one can intercede earlier & earlier.
First off, if ya feel like hell, STAY HOME. Symptoms below the neck, like aches/chills etc or a fever, STAY HOME. With a head cold, if I’m uncontrollably symptomatic (coughing, sneezing, dripping) I STAY HOME. Really. You gotta find a sub, miss the workshop, whatever. (Unless you are doing the Forrest yoga month long intensive, where ya can’t miss a day, period, and MUST find a way to suck it up. Seriously. At that point, everyone in the training is like a family & things get passed around.)
But if you need to go to class/teach, what then? Well, if I can keep all outward exposure to a minimum & can’t find a sub or have a hugely important workshop to take (or teacher training etc!) then I find a way to dry up, not cough etc. Yes, Western medicine can be called into play. Didn’t have to use it before class this time after all, but I had the pseudoephedrine HCL on speed dial. Neti, Emergen-C, gargling etc did the trick.
Going into class, I up to the max all the normal hygiene measures a teacher, or anyone in close contact with people, must take. Lots of hot water handwashing. Clean Harbinger Forrest fancypants gloves. No touching of my own face after said washing & gloving up. Keeping my head/breath away from other people. Largely keeping my hands off & my distance which means more verbal corrections over hands on adjustments. Any hands on would keep my head far away from the students skin/head. Cleaning my mat AND THE PROPS I USED if they belong to the studio, not me. When at all sniffly, I’ll try to bring in my own props alot of the time and then clean them at home. Washing up again.
Just a few thoughts as we head into cold & flu season… most important, of course, is keepign the immune system strong through good nutrition, plenty of fluids & sleep, & of course, doin’ your yoga.
After all the mats are rolled up & the props put away, I analyze each class I teach. It’s a bit of a contradiction cuz there’s a need to let go of each teaching experience but also it’s useful to look at what worked, what didn’t, what could be improved.
Problem comes when I get frustrated with myself for not being spot on. Or not really knowing whether things went good or bad. Or forgetting that each student in the class had an individual experience that has alot to do with where they are at & not with anything I do.
And the big question of course — by what do we judge a successful class as a teacher (& as a student)?
As a teacher, the standard can’t be that everyone liked you or the class itself. It’s just not possible. But we also want people to enjoy the practice & want to come back (even if not specifically to you, certainly to yoga!)
There are lots of things a Forrest teacher works at. LOTS. But at the heart of it all, best I can come up with is that a good class is one where some essence of yoga was communicated/shared/experienced.
Pretty broad standard. But by that standard, at least, tonight was just fine, even if I wasn’t 100% (thank you, incipient head cold, for at least holding off your more disgusting properties during class despite spacing me out). And I can let it go.
In a past life, I was a planner for the military — seriously! I wrote, staffed, coordinated & then published plans for contingencies like WMD terrorism, or bird flu (ya know, the panic before swine flu).
Did this knowing full well that the first thing to happen in any crisis would be to take my baby off the shelf, leaf through it for anything remotely relevant to the actual situation (vs hypothetical planning assumptions) and then toss the plan out.
Lesson planning for a yoga class can actually be a lot like that.
Some teachers do very little planning but have so much experience & intuition that they can riff & improvise a masterpiece. Others set up minute-by-minute outlines. The problems come when folks think they can improvise but really can’t & come up with hot mess nonsensical sequences that get people hurt. Or those who stick to some rigid plan come hell or high water, or, more likely, a room full of injured newbies.
Ideally, I get to sketch out a plan, run through it on my own body when warming up for class, then adapt/fine tune it as I see how the students handle it. No class ever conforms to what the paper dictates, & that’s a-ok. Today flowed out from the plan, evolved from the plan & was fab. Happy times!!
After that, I had fun in Peter’s 1215 Journey to the Core, had a smoothie the size of my head, did a laid-back teacher’s practice & assisted backbending class. Good day.
Just as planned.
Have had this post percolating for awhile & will try to communicate it this morning.
It’s raining cats & dogs in Cambridge — though in our house it really just rains cats, constantly — & that’s good writin’ weather. Home practice is on the agenda today; will be at Back Bay tomorrow for Peter’s Forrest class, then an assisting workshop with David Swenson. Pretty psyched about that — I’ve studied with him before & he is hilarious & EXTREMELY INSANELY BRILLIANT.
K, so, Beloved Husband & I are childless-by-choice & intend to remain that way. I’m blessed with a gorgeous, intelligent niece & goddaughter & get to see my friends have amazing babies & I’m thrilled for them. But it’s not something either BH or I have ever really, truly, deep down wanted. The plan is to travel fabulous places, live the life of adventure ;0) & love each other very much while spoiling assorted kitties til they make princess divas look like peasants.
But, thing is, I nontheless feel quite privileged in the ability-to-provide-nurturing department.
Every adult who walks into a yoga studio needs the care we (hopefully) lavish on beloved children.
Every grown up in class deserves the finest instruction, healthy touch & encouragement to grow.
It is a delight to high-five a grandmother or grandfather who just celebrated their first handstand or touched their toes. An honor to hold a young woman in crisis & help her breathe & stay.
And sometimes, if a space is created & held that allows for playful, safe, supportive exploration, then “adult” defenses & facades fall away & you see faces washed clean & open as a child’s.